Chet’s Rules of the Wild: The First Five Lessons from Everyone’s Favorite Campfire Raccoon

Sometimes the wilderness teaches you the hard way. Other times, you’re lucky enough to have Chet — a raccoon who’s been around enough campfires to know what’s what. From stealthy survival strategies to questionable life advice, he’s here to share the first five official Rules of the Wild. Think of them as outdoor wisdom you cannot ignore.

Rule #1 – Never Skip the Coffee

Chet says it best: “If your coffee is weak, so are you. Nature doesn’t take it easy, and neither should your brew.” Out here, the right cup can mean the difference between conquering the trail and becoming part of it.

Browse Chet's favorite camping mugs by Kempain Family Outfitters

Rule #2 – Fishing Isn’t About the Fish

Chet’s take? “Fishing isn’t about fishing — it’s about avoiding people.” Sometimes the best catch is peace and quiet. When the world gets loud, the water’s edge is where you find your escape.

Browse Chet's favorite fishing collection "Hooked & Ready" by Kempain Family Outfitters

Rule #3 – Campfire Smoke Always Finds the Coward

Chet’s warning is simple: “Campfire smoke always finds the coward.” No matter how hard you try to dodge it, that sneaky smoke will track you down — so you might as well face it head-on (or bring extra bug spray).

In this video Chet wears his "Happiest By The Fire" T-Shirt and favorite "Fireside Dad Hat" by Kempain Family Outfitters. Check out our "Campfire Nights" collection.

Rule #4 – The Trail Doesn’t Care About Your Quads

Chet’s brutally honest take: “The trail doesn’t care about your quads. It sees through your gym membership.” No amount of treadmill time can fully prepare you for the wild — so lace up and respect the grind.

In this video Chet wears his favorite hiking tee and Kempain Family Outfitters branded distressed dad hat.

Rule #5 – You Don’t Become a Legend by Being Seen

Chet knows the truth: “You don’t become a legend by being seen. Bigfoot gets it — that’s why he stays out of town. ”Sometimes, the wild’s greatest mysteries are the ones left alone. Stay low, stay quiet, and maybe you’ll be legendary too.

Chet is a fan of Bigfoot and is seen sporting items from our Legendary Bigfoot Collection — Only at Kempain Family Outfitters.

Follow Kempain Family Outfitters on YouTube Shorts, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok for more from Chet on Thursdays.